HISTORY . . .
Steadwood……….A brief history.
It is generally acknowledged that various locations throughout the world are reputed to possess mystical or super natural properties, mythical or fictional places such as Shangri La, Brigadoon, Xanadu and Middle Earth have teased our cultural imagination for decades.
Nepal, Tibet, the Bermuda Triangle, the Pyramids and other historical sites of ancient Egypt are genuine locations of mystique which emit a cosmic aura which often defies rational explanation.
Yet there is another location lying just south west of London whose existence is still shrouded in doubt and scepticism in some quarters.
This is the town of Steadwood, which although not to be found in any outer London map, seems to occupy space in and around the London Borough of Hounslow, extending from Hounslow Heath to the area bordering the district of Isleworth.
Physically, under normal circumstances, one cannot perceive the hidden metropolis that is Steadwood, yet strange and aberrant phenomena that testify to its existence can sometimes be detected. Statistically, the Borough of Hounslow seems to suffer a higher incidence of power cuts than other areas of Greater London, and it is at such times that the Steadwood influence can be felt by a few sensitive individuals, who can detect almost subsonic rumblings of movement and activity which is separate from normal local ambient noise.
At other times whilst passing through the general vicinity of Hounslow Heath (a place long reputed to be haunted) much extraneous noise can be heard by the especially psychically sensitive and late at night the faint sound of crowds and even individual voices could also be perceived. This information albeit scanty was perhaps the sum total of the evidence of the existence of Metropolis Steadwood, and until the intervention of a certain Mrs Bladderwort, “Steadwood” had not even a name.
For some years, Mrs Phoebe Bladderwort, a long time resident of Feltham, (adjoining Hounslow) and an enthusiastic devotee of Xur Fing, an obscure Buddhist cult of anal retention, (the Constipationalists) had pontificated at length about the existence of Steadwood to an unlistening audience.
Brandishing a voluminous and comprehensive dossier, “Distortion and disturbances within the cosmic Hounslow aura”, Mrs Bladderwort finally gained the interest and attention of an academic discussion group and by sheer force of personality gained the means of conducting a supervised experiment. Phoebe Bladderwort intended to actually enter the realm of Steadwood and remain there for as long as possible before returning with a full and detailed report of her findings. It now remained for her to explain her method of travel to a place existing entirely within the 5th dimension. It was at this juncture that two of the academics got up shaking their heads and promptly leaving.
Finally, Phoebe, a medical doctor and the remaining academics reached the exact centre of Hounslow Heath at midnight, Winter solstice 2005, laying a blanket on the grass. Phoebe Bladderwort then sat cross legged on the blanket, consumed 16 saffron crocus bulbs, a mandrake root, 2 fly agaric toadstools (dried and raw) and a small quantity of LSD. At first she appeared to be dead, certainly she was comatose, a condition necessary to induce a truly cosmic “astral projection”. She remained in this state until 8/30 the following morning, when her eyes suddenly opened and she abruptly sat upright.
“I have been there” she uttered clearly, “I have travelled among the Steadwoodians and it was extraordinary!”
Phoebe described her “trip” and three other subsequent visits to Metropolis Steadwood in her published account, “Return to Steadwood Junction” in which she unravelled the long and tortuous history of what amounted to a city of dead souls, quite literally, a ghost town. Steadwood was apparently inhabited by the lost souls of many generations of village idiots, crackpots, eccentrics and misfits who had gravitated there over the millennia, finally forming a parallel society partially resembling our own both in appearance and culture.
Eventually, Phoebe sought the services of an artist sympathetic to depicting what she had experienced. Eventually she discovered a local artist who coincidentally operated from the Steadwood Studio and seeing this as an auspicious sign, employed Edwin Cripps to bring to life her vision of the Steadwood Metropolis. A series of paintings was undertaken, mammoth works depicting the everyday and cultural life of this extraordinary phantom city and (according to Phoebe) replete with accurate rendering of characters that she had encountered on her sojourns there. These included Vic Bifkin, purveyor of bizarre foods, Coco Hinkle, an androgynous maniac wearing a platypus mask, Carlo Vasconcelos a lugubrious proprietor of the highly toxic Botulaburger hot dog stand, Alf Bateman a geriatric with a giant size glass eye that had been installed by a sadistic young market salesman. Myriad others of note populate the cityscapes of Steadwood and all of them as exactly described by Mrs Bladderwort.
